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This newspaper is a time machine, locked in around the time of two World Wars, one World Cup and a lost age when it was permissible to poke fun at Germans.

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21. 02. 12 - 13:00

Porn Film Flyer

German Philipp Schultz, 37, was badly hurt after forgetting he had taken down his trousers while watching a porn film at a cinema in the Hamburg red light district and toppling head first into the row in front when he went to leave.

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  • BMW driver Markus Barosch, 78, ended up plunging through a multi-storey car park wall after he put his automatic car into the wrong gear and then put his foot down.
    Dozy Parker
    BMW driver Markus Barosch, 78, ended up plunging through a multi-storey car park wall after he put his automatic car into the wrong gear and then put ...
  • Baffled Martin Sepp couldn't work out how the white van man who'd bought his Vauxhall hatchback was going to get his motor into the back of his truck - until he used an angle grinder to turn it into a four by four.
    Seen My Four By Four?
    Baffled Martin Sepp couldn't work out how the white van man who'd bought his Vauxhall hatchback was going to get his motor into the back of his truck ...
  • A 77-year-old motorist wrote off five brand new cars in a showroom while she was trying to take one out for a test drive.
    Crash Test Dummy
    A 77-year-old motorist wrote off five brand new cars in a showroom while she was trying to take one out for a test drive. ...
  • This dozy British beer fan found what must be one of the worst spots in the world to drop off on - wedged between two carriages on a 190 mph express train.
    Railway Sleeper
    This dozy British beer fan found what must be one of the worst spots in the world to drop off on - wedged between two carriages on a 190 mph express t ...
  • Brewers in Germany have given critics a mouthful - after winning the legal right to name a new drink after the F-word.
    Ficken Heck
    Brewers in Germany have given critics a mouthful - after winning the legal right to name a new drink after the F-word. ...
  • This daft trucker is paying the price for his van-tastic cheek - when he tried to salvage a wrecked car on the back of his pick-up truck.
    Flat Out
    This daft trucker is paying the price for his van-tastic cheek - when he tried to salvage a wrecked car on the back of his pick-up truck. ...
  • Terrified Marlene Bach had a real bad hair day when she tried to park outside her crimpers - and got her flip-flop caught in the accelerator pedal.
    Close Shave
    Terrified Marlene Bach had a real bad hair day when she tried to park outside her crimpers - and got her flip-flop caught in the accelerator pedal. ...
  • Furious women's rights groups have got a posh crimpers' by the short and curlies over an ad showing a man looking at his thong-wearing wife's crutch asking:
    Herr Don't
    Furious women's rights groups have got a posh crimpers' by the short and curlies over an ad showing a man looking at his thong-wearing wife's crutch a ...
  • Killjoy cops pulled the plug on motorist Steffen Eggers, 26 - when he used a bath to tow a pal down a road on their way to a barbeque.
    Pull The Plug
    Killjoy cops pulled the plug on motorist Steffen Eggers, 26 - when he used a bath to tow a pal down a road on their way to a barbeque. ...
  • Police have blamed the hit Disney children's movie Cars 2 for a spate of car tipping pranks across Germany.
    Flipping Funny
    Police have blamed the hit Disney children's movie Cars 2 for a spate of car tipping pranks across Germany. ...
  • Spooked cops couldn't believe their eyes when they checked their rear-view mirror - and saw a car being driven by a ghostly skeleton.
    Ghost Busted
    Spooked cops couldn't believe their eyes when they checked their rear-view mirror - and saw a car being driven by a ghostly skeleton. ...
  • More than 1,171 Germans munched their way through 9,000 portions of ice cream in a bid to create the world's biggest ice cream chain.
    Brain Freeze
    More than 1,171 Germans munched their way through 9,000 portions of ice cream in a bid to create the world's biggest ice cream chain. ...
  • Silly Parker Brigitte Koehler, 80, ended up with her car slotted in a parking space on its roof after this accident at Lueerdissen in Germany.
    Dozy Parker
    Silly Parker Brigitte Koehler, 80, ended up with her car slotted in a parking space on its roof after this accident at Lueerdissen in Germany. ...
  • Cops in Germany are warning of a massive increase in thefts of metal from train tracks triggered by the huge prices being paid for copper and other metals.
    Crooks Derail Train Timetables
    Cops in Germany are warning of a massive increase in thefts of metal from train tracks triggered by the huge prices being paid for copper and other me ...
  • Batman won't be happy with Batgirl after finding she had the batmobile confiscated by German police.
    Batty Woman
    Batman won't be happy with Batgirl after finding she had the batmobile confiscated by German police. ...
  • A horse has been caught by a speed camera in Germany.
    Horsing Around
    A horse has been caught by a speed camera in Germany. ...
  • It's not the kind of plant most gardeners would welcome - a 22 ton piledriver that demolished a row of neatly tended front lawns in Stade, Germany.
    Garden plant
    It's not the kind of plant most gardeners would welcome - a 22 ton piledriver that demolished a row of neatly tended front lawns in Stade, Germany. ...
  • Cops are hunting silly arsonists who donned this mask to start a blaze at a school in Kassel, Germany.
    Silly Arse-onist
    Cops are hunting silly arsonists who donned this mask to start a blaze at a school in Kassel, Germany. ...
  • Masked robbers in the form of two young raccoons had to be arrested by police after they hijacked a German motorists car.
    Highway Robbers Arrested
    Masked robbers in the form of two young raccoons had to be arrested by police after they hijacked a German motorists car. ...

  • Shock for Hamburgelars
    German police are hunting a gang that blew themselves up when they used a handsaw to try and hack through high-voltage copper cables alongside train t ...

  • Rihanna Copyright Row
    A teenage German photographer is demanding six-figure compensation after claiming that Rihanna stole his 'S&M' photo concept for a hit music video. ...

  • Track Attack
    German police are warning against a new prank from local kids of putting stones on the track which then explode when they are hit by high-speed expres ...

  • Quackers Cops
    A Quack squad of German cops waded into action to rescue a duck and seven chicks after a traffic accident at Buxtehude in Germany. ...

  • River police
    German car insurance salesman Dieter Maier had some explaining to do after he left the handbrake off when he parked his car outside the front of his o ...
  • Now this is the kind of Nature any red-blooded countryside fan would love to get back to.
    Farm Girls Horny Calender
    Now this is the kind of Nature any red-blooded countryside fan would love to get back to. ...

  • Bus-t Up
    Twenty five German tourists were treated for shock after they took a sightseeing trip on a London bus that then crashed in Goettingen, Germany. ...

  • Running Rings Round Mum
    This reluctant baby lemur was running rings around his mum - when he refused to come out and meet the public at Nuremberg Zoo in Germany. ...

  • Kings Of The Castle
    Thousands of people helped build the longest sand castle in the world in Ruegen, Germany at the weekend. ...
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Latest News

 

Silly Moos
Police asked callers to pull the udder one - when they rang in to report a cow waiting for a train in Steinfurt, Germany.

Copycat UK Rhino Horn Thieves
A gang who tried to steal valuable rhino horns from a British museum are suspected of pulling off a similar raid in Germany just days earlier.

Porn Film Flyer
German Philipp Schultz, 37, was badly hurt after forgetting he had taken down his trousers while watching a porn film at a cinema in the Hamburg red light district and toppling head first into the row in front when he went to leave.

Home Made Heli Death
Hobby pilot Gustel Schmidt, 61, was burned to death after he crashed a helicopter he had made himself during a flight near Stuttgart, Germany.

Monks Brew-ha-ha
An order of beer-making monks have won a legal brew-ha-ha with a local dairy over just who has the right to name their products after the town.

Policemans Bull
A runaway bullock has given a team of 12 policemen and hunters the slip after it broke out of its enclosure in Neuss, Germany, and fled into surrounding woodland.

Dignitas: Suicide Numbers Up
Suicide group Dignitas has revealed a 35 per cent increase in the number of people it helped to kill themselves last year.

Moo-ve Along
Traffic stopped moo-ving on a busy road in Feuchtwangen in Germany after 31 cows escaped after the lorry they were being transported in skidded and crashed off the road.

Mum Killer
Mentally ill German woman Marcela Rainer, 34, stabbed her 8-year-old son to death as he slept in the middle of the night at the family home and then calmly walked down the road to a petrol station where she called police to tell them what she had done.

Skull And Lost Bones
Charges have been filed against three men who allegedly stole the skull of a pirate dubbed Germany's answer to Robin Hood because he stole from the wealthy merchants of the time and freely distributed the money to the poor.

 

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