© die-linke.de

13. 04. 11. - 09:00

• more Allan Hall's Germany news
• RSS Feed Allan Hall's Germany

13. 04. 11. - 09:00

Crisis of crapitalism

A POLITICIAN for Germany's hardline Left Party is at the centre of a humiliating police probe for being a serial loo-roll stealer.

Frank-Michael John, 24, a member of the party's executive in the Baltic sea city of Stralsund, is accused of pilfering over 200 rolls of paper in the past three months.

Cleaning staff at the town hall were puzzled when all the rolls of paper were found missing in the gentlemen's conveniences after committee meetings of the party.

On Monday night this week town hall caretaker Oliver Koenig set a trap.

"I did not believe acute intestinal problems lay behind this massive usage of paper," he told police.

He hid in a cubicle in the gent's toilet while a colleague kept watch in a corridor.   At 7.30pm John entered the loo and Herr Koening "suddenly heard the sound of screws securing the paper holder to the wall of another cubicle being removed."

He sent a message via his mobile phone to his colleague outside who entered the lavatory to assist his boss in apprehending the paper thief.

"I performed a citizen's arrest on Mr. John who exited the cubicle holding a roll of lavatory paper in his hand," said Mr. Koenig in his police statement.  A second roll of pilfered paper was to be found in
his knapsack.

"It is my belief he intended to plunder the lavatory of all the loo rolls had I not stopped him," added Mr. Koening.

The hardline Marxist Mr. John, who wrote for his party's paper recently that "Capitalism as a model for society is over because it destroys both humans and nature," refused to comment to German media when
confronted about his cubicle kleptomania.  But he has achieved more headlines for the party in the last 24 hours than it gleaned in the past three months of worthy committee work.

He was taken away by police.  Senior public prosecutor spokesman Ralf Lechte confifrmed "an ongoing investigation into a person following the theft of small items from the town hall."

German Herald

Chelsea Thugs Target Champs League Final
Anti-soccer thug police have warned that a hard core of violent fans are heading for Chelsea's Champions League final against Bayern Munich on Saturday - despite British police issuing more than 80 travel bans on suspected hooligans.

Old Banger
A cabbie whose gas-powered car exploded just after he'd fuelled up survived with barely a scratch when he was blown clean through the open window, say police in Schwabing, Germany.

Scared Stiff
A burglar fled an apartment in terror when he came face to face with the mummified corpse of the of a woman who'd died unnoticed five years earlier, say police.

Dirty Politics
A grandstanding politician came down to earth with a bump - when a 40 ton digger he'd insisted on driving overturned on top of him.

Ewe Brutes
Callous art students who planned to behead a helpless sheep are being investigated by prosecutors in the German capital Berlin over animal cruelty allegations.

Wedding Lift
A serial car crook found with stolen wedding presents worth more than 150,000 GBP has confessed to pinching them from cars parked outside churches and hotels.

Hot Cross Huns
Naked sauna-goers were among the two hundred guests that fled when a sauna and thermal spa resort in Fichtelburg, Germany, went up in flames causing 25 million GBP of damage.

Wedding Crasher
Boozed up Stephan Pfeifer, 20, was a real wedding crasher after wandering into a community centre attic space to find somewhere to sleep - and plunging 30 foot through the floor to land in a shower of debris in front of bride Annett Friedman in Unterfranken, Germany.

Off Their Trolley
Staff at a Kaufland supermarket in Duisberg, Germany, had to apologise to customers after thieves made off with their entire stock of 150 shopping trolleys overnight.

Piggy Back
Dad Lucas Bergmann who was burgled and his his kid's money boxes and toys stolen while the family were at a New year's Eve party has had the lot returned - complete with an apology note from the thief at Neufahrn in Bavaria, Germany.